Baby Kate-June 4, 2012

So, a couple of days ago we had probably the biggest day of our lives so far! Our daughter, Kate, joined us! It was an incredible experience, one that is hard to compare to any other. Before I write more, here are some pictures!

So, I will just start at the beginning. :) This is long, so make sure you're sitting somewhere comfortable, haha. My official due date was June 10, so we were a little surprised at her early arrival (but also super okay with it, haha). I woke up on Monday at about 8 and felt like I had peed my pants a little bit, so I got up, went to the bathroom and came back to bed. But then water kept coming out and it was not pee so I woke Chance up and said, "Um, do you think my water broke?" We weren't sure but then it kept coming out and we were like, okay, that's probably what that is. By the way, the start of labor was not at all like the movies for me. In the movies, women always pop up in bed and say with assurance, "It's time!" haha, but it was more like, "Um...is this what's happening?" for us. :) Especially because I had no contractions yet, it was even more not-real feeling. So we got all our stuff together and called our doctor and then headed to the hospital. The drive over was just chill because it didn't really feel real yet. Once we got there, they did a test to make sure my water really had broken and then admitted me. This was about 9:30 or 10 or so. All I felt was slight cramps in my back, just like small period cramps. My doctor said that if I wasn't having regular contractions by noon, they would give me a low dose of pitocin. Even though I didn't want it, I realized how it really was a good thing because my contractions did not change at all and I didn't want the baby to get an infection since my water had broken. So at about 12:30 they gave me the lowest dose and that started things right away. Even as my contractions became more noticeable, they were not unbearable. I was just breathing my way through them and doing alright. Later (I had no concept of time during the entire labor, so I couldn't tell you when this was) they increased the pitocin to the next highest dose. That made things a little harder just because I was getting less of a break between contractions. As a side note, the way I would describe contractions feeling is, at first, like period cramps in front and back and then as they get stronger, kind of like someone pushing too hard in a massage and making it hurt. Luckily, they didn't keep me at that level of pitocin long. The nurse came in after a bit and said to Chance (I was doing my thang so I wasn't really there), "Let's put it back down to the low dose, so she is more able to do this naturally." I really appreciated the staff who took care of me in labor. I had told them that I did not want an epidural and they were so kind and accommodating and didn't even question me ever. I really feel like they wanted what was best for me and the baby and also wanted to do what I wanted as much as possible. Go nurses!! So anyway, things just kept plugging along, gradually getting stronger but still doable. This is where I gotta say that Chance was a rockstar during the whole thing with me. He was right by my side 100% and that was so so comforting. I would feel a contraction coming and say, "Chance, right here," and grab is hand and he would count to help me with breathing. That counting really got me through and helped me focus. Especially later in labor, it was the counting that really helped me keep my head on straight and not freak out. Plus, I put Chance's hands to good use, squeezing them like crazy, and that was very helpful. The thing that I'm really grateful for in my labor was that I was always making progress. When I first came in, I was dilated to 1 cm, and each time they checked me I had made progress, from 1 cm to 4 cm to 6 cm to 9 cm and then finally to 10 cm. It was so so encouraging to know that my contractions were doing something. I always feel bad when I hear stories of women having contractions for forever and then still not making progress because that is just so frustrating. Every time they checked, I was just saying to myself, "Please please, tell me it's getting there!" So, when I was at about a 6, I think, Chance's mom showed up to help. This was definitely a lifesaver. For me personally, I really loved having Chance and another woman with experience there. Chance was doing awesome, but it just helped to have two sets of hands so I could squeeze and have someone pushing on my back or whatever. Plus, I think it helped Chance feel better to have that support, too. He and his mom worked great together, constantly telling me how awesome I was doing and touching me. Those were the two best things, words and touch. They really helped me feel like I was not alone, which is very easy to feel when things are getting so intense. I also had my ipod for background noise and Chance pushing on pressure points on my hands and feet. Both of these things were great because they were distracting from the contractions which, ironically, helped me focus, if that makes sense. Another tip that saved me was from my sister Emily. She had said to think of the contractions as waves. You know how when you are in the ocean and a wave comes, if you fight against it, it will just shove you over? But if you let it take you, things are much smoother. That is so so true about contractions. If I ever felt myself fighting against it, it hurt worse. But when I breathed and let it "take me," so to speak, it was much less scary and actually hurt less I think. Anyway, this is probably a ton of information, and if you're still reading, I'm flattered :). Moving on, I just kept going, breathing through everything with my eyes closed. I stayed on pitocin the whole time, but just the lowest dose. When they checked me and I was at about an 8 or 9, I would say this was the most difficult time for me. I hadn't really cried or yelled or anything up till this point, just a few tears when contractions were close on the higher dose of pitocin, but those were mostly just for a release before I got used to how contractions felt and knew what to expect. When I got to these last couple centimeters, I did start to make some noise and I was heavily relying on Chance's and his mom's counting and direction so that I didn't lose it. I do remember saying, "I can't do this!" but even as I said it, I knew that I could. I think I just said that for a release or whatever. I made low noises as I breathed out and this was pretty much a reflex. I couldn't help but make noise, it helped it feel better for me and kind of just happened without me controlling it. If one thing is true about labor it is that it is all about understanding how to not be in control. Your body really just does it and you just have to mentally be okay with stepping aside so that your body can do it's thing. At this point I was also really wanting to push. They would check me and say, "Just a couple more contractions and you should be there" and all I could think was, "A couple more? Are you kidding, I gotta push now!!" Haha. Finally, they checked and said I was at a 10 and those were the most awesome words to hear. I think I even said out loud, "Oh thank goodness!" :) I got into position with my legs pulled back and when the contraction came I was able to push. This is such a reflex too. The nurse did remind me to push with my bottom and not my face, and that really helped me push effectively. Some women like to push without any direction or counting, but the counting was awesome for me because it gave me something to focus on. I got so lucky, I only pushed for about 15 minutes. I was grateful because pushing was challenging. It was nice because I felt like I was actually doing something with each contraction, but at the same time, the contractions were still very intense. I didn't really see anything as she came out because I liked my eyes closed as I focused. Chance, his mom, and the nurse were this awesome cheer squad, haha, each time I pushed they'd say, "Oh that was so good! You're getting there!" Once her head was out, the rest came really quick. She is a long and skinny baby, like I was :). Feeling her come all the way out was INCREDIBLE. Best feeling ever. All of the pain was gone and I just cried because I was so relieved and happy! Definitely one of the best highs ever! They put her on my chest right away and that was a crazy feeling. She was so warm and wiggly and I couldn't believe she was here. Chance cut the cord, which he said was cool, but not super dramatic. I didn't know he had cut it until later. Everything was a blur. Something that was really cool was how alert Kate was! Her eyes were wide open right from when she came out and she stayed that way for a couple hours after. I loved seeing that. So from start to finish, our whole experience went from 8 am to 5:42 pm. Not long at all, especially for a first baby. I'm guessing this is partly because of the pitocin and also not getting an epidural. Whatever it was, I was perfectly okay with it only lasting that long! :)

All in all, I feel so lucky to have had such a positive experience. Was it difficult? Heck yes, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, labor is stinking hard work. But it is incredible at the same time. I look at those pictures above and I think, "Yeah, I don't look great," but I don't care because I remember how I was FEELING in those pictures. I felt so good on the inside and so I think, "Who cares about the outside?" I can't help but feel so much respect for each and every woman who has ever brought a child into this world. It is a miracle every single time. We are so happy to have Kate here and we will keep you updated!